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MDVillarreal

Art Is A Journey
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It is the early morning hours of January 7, 2024 as I write this. This is the first thing I've posted to this site in almost a year. Even outside of this site, I've not done much of anything artwise. So where have I been? I've been healing mentally and emotionally.


On January 17, 2023, my dad passed away somewhat unexpectedly. I say somewhat because he had already been on kidney dialysis for several years and had already had an episode literally 2 weeks prior where his heart stopped for a few minutes. But even knowing that, it didn't make it any easier. It was a day I had been dreading since I was younger. The passing of parents is an unfortunate milestone that many will experience at some point in their life.


I was just settling in at work that day when I got the phone call. I don't think I was even at work for an hour yet when the call came. I knew immediately something terrible had happened. The person who called me was not someone who ever called. They told me he wasn't breathing. I asked where they were and I took off immediately. I literally grabbed nothing except my coat and keys and I was gone, driving as quickly as I could to the house.


I didn't fully realize it at the time I entered, but my gut knew he was gone already. He had been unresponsive for too long even though the paramedics tried valiantly for another 15, 20 minutes or so to revive him. It was the first time in my life that I was truly at a loss for words. I had never lost any close family member before. That was the kickoff to what would become hands down the worst year of my life.


I thought I was handling the grief okay, but I didn't understand until recently how much it had weighed me down in many different ways. There were many days where tears would stream down my face as I remembered random things about him or my mind would make sudden connections to things I hadn't ever considered before. I felt panicked on more than one occasion, like I was on the verge of a full mental breakdown. I relived variations of his death in my dreams several times in the months that followed. Even attempts to sit and do art work ended in nothing as I could not get myself in the headspace for it.


I felt directionless in the months that followed. And with the other events that happened throughout the year (car repo, evictions, moving, family fighting, etc), I was frequently feeling crushed and without options, without hope. But I am stubborn like my old man was and I refused to give up and let the demons of despair take me into their grasp. I sailed onward into the unknown, supported heavily by my wife and our closest friend.


The holidays this past year were rough as I knew they would be, but perhaps the hardest and most important was New Year's. At midnight on New Year's Eve, I finally let all the sadness, grief, hopelessness, despair, anger, and rage that I had been holding onto all year go. I cried more than I had all year to that point, but that finally brought me the catharsis I needed. I could finally see the light again. I felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I know that doesn't mean that I won't ever feel those emotions again about this event, but it does mean that I am healing and I will go on living. Getting back to making art again is a part of that.


I have not talked about this publicly anywhere else and I will not. Though dA has changed a lot since I initially joined 17 years ago, it's one of if not the only place online that I'm still active on and still consider as a home of sorts. That is why I chose to write this piece here. Life does go on. Wounds will heal. Storms don't last forever.


I will close this out with the attached picture. My dad introduced me to pro wrestling when I was little and up until the Monday Night Wars ended circa 2001, pro wrestling was something we used to watch together just about every Monday night and sometimes Sunday night if it was a good pay-per-view. He also enjoyed playing the card game Phase 10, so a couple of years ago I made a Phase 10 championship. It was just a toy title belt I still had from when I was little with some Phase 10 things printed out and taped onto it, but he got a kick out of winning it whenever the family played for it. When he passed away, I retired the belt. For all intents and purposes, he was the last champion. The picture below is how it was displayed at his funeral. Rest in peace, old man.

Screenshot 2024-01-07 034508
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After almost two years, I have the ability to print 11"x17" pictures once again! I have already started converting some of my most popular listings at my Etsy shop to feature this new sizing, but it remains a work in progress.


To celebrate, now through the end of the year ALL PRINTS ARE 10% OFF at MDVillarrealART - Etsy! If there are any prints you'd like, but don't see in my shop, please contact me and I'll see what I can do for you. Thank you all for your support!

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I have started a Discord server! It is designed to revolve around my works in their various stages, but also to chat about their works and entertainment as well. The link is posted below! (If link does not work for you, please let me know!)


https://discord.gg/qvRutzMtA6

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I'm currently running a buy one, get one 50% off sale on ALL my 11"x17" and 5"x7" prints at my Ebay shop (https://www.ebay.com/str/mdvillarrealsartcorner ). Check it out! If you'd like something that's not currently on offer, contact me and I'll see what I can do for you!

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I added a few new 5"x7" mini prints to my Ebay shop. I refer to these as "fading" prints as they're intended to show the evolution from sketch/line art to colored piece. I will be adding more in the future!


https://www.ebay.com/str/MDVillarreals-Art-Corner?_trksid=p2047675.l2563


Captain Marvel (Fade) (5x7)
Darth Talon2 (Fade) (5x7)
Tifa Lockhart (Fade) (5x7)
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Featured

Where have I been? by MDVillarreal, journal

Started Discord server! by MDVillarreal, journal

Summer Print Sale! by MDVillarreal, journal

NEW stuff added to my Ebay shop by MDVillarreal, journal

UPDATES to my Ebay store by MDVillarreal, journal